


I Abhor You/I Adore You

by rhysiana



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Initial Misunderstandings Abound, M/M, The Frustrations of Being Low-Key Queer at a High-Key Queer School, What Are You Anyway? Busy, annoyances to lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-09-30 14:01:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10164527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhysiana/pseuds/rhysiana
Summary: What Dex has time for: hockey, his work-study job, and his classes.What Dex doesn't have time for: the pointless judgements of other people. Particularly one Derek Malik Nurse.(aka the Glitter Ball fic)





	1. Glitter Ball

**Author's Note:**

> I started this fic last summer as a response to the "Dex is homophobic! Dex is having gay panic!" discourse, because in my mind, he's always known he's not straight, he just doesn't think it's anyone else's business. All I wanted to do was write a short fic about him having been quietly involved with the LGBTQIA group on campus this whole time, and everyone (Nursey) suddenly realizing it when they saw him at the group-sponsored dance (because all small-ish liberal arts schools have ridiculously themed group-sponsored dances, it's just a rule.) And that's basically what the first chapter is, but then the fic grew legs and turned into a larger exercise of attempting to fill in the gaps between the Nursey/Dex tweets while still staying true to canon. There's a lot of projection of my own college experience onto Samwell here.

_First year, first semester_

Dex got a job with the helpdesk almost as soon as he got to campus. This wasn’t exactly normal for an unknown, untested, untried, and undeclared first year student, but he had references from his high school job and there was a constant shortage of people who actually knew how to do anything with _hardware_. Which, of course, was the thing most of the professors actually needed help with. They weren’t actually receiving a lot of emergency Python coding calls; they needed someone who could “make the goddamn printer talk to the computer” without pissing anyone off by being too condescending.

He enjoyed it; compared to having to do the same thing in a retail environment, this was downright relaxing, and he at least had some confidence the people he was helping weren’t _complete_ idiots. He could even leave behind a Post-it of step-by-step instructions of how to fix the problem themselves next time and have it be followed at least 50% of the time! Not to mention his work-study hours as a student athlete were actually capped and enforced so he wouldn’t work himself to death. So relaxing when compared to high school, when he’d had to juggle IT work, lobster fishing, hockey, and grades good enough to get some kind of scholarship.

Since he’d gotten to campus early to start pre-season practice with the hockey team, he’d been able to establish a work routine before adding in classes, which had been helpful. The CS classes at Samwell were certainly more demanding, but that was why he was here, wasn’t it? All in all, he was pretty satisfied with how things were shaping up. (Now if only his d-partner weren’t such an entitled brat…)

Once the other students got back to campus, it became clear the helpdesk office wasn’t the only thing housed in the weird little building at the edge of campus. He was just ending a shift when a girl stuck her head in the door. “Would it be possible to get some quick help from anybody? It’s just across the hall.”

“I can do it,” Dex said. “I was just about to leave anyway.”

“Thank you!” She led the way into what appeared to be an all-purpose meeting room. The door now had a handmade rainbow sign taped to it, proclaiming it the Stonewall Resource Center. “We’re having our first meeting of the year tonight, and of course the one person who remembers how to work the projector is on study abroad this semester.”

“No problem. You hooking it up to a laptop?”

“Yeah.”

Dex walked over to the AV podium at the front of the room and fished out the giant cluster of cables and dongles. “Hopefully one of these will work, but we have adapters in the office for just about anything. Bring it over.” A minute or so later, he had everything working.

“Thank you so much!”

“Sure. I mean, it’s my job anyway.”

“Do I need to file a ticket or something?”

“Eh, whatever.”

“Um, you’re welcome to stay for the meeting if you want…”

“What’s it for? I mean, I can guess, but your sign wasn’t even up when I came in at the beginning of my shift, so, you know.”

“Yeah, basically it’s just a beginning of the year informational meeting for students about LGBTQIA resources on campus and a way to get those of us who are returning students to get started organizing other events. So maybe not super interesting.”

“No, it sounds like good information to have. I’ll stick around.”

She smiled at him. “Great! I’m Sam.”

“Will. Or Dex. I answer to either.”

“Nice to meet you.”

***

“So do you think you’ll come back?” Sam asked after the meeting was over. Dex had stayed to help her turn off the projector and leave a sticky note with the steps written down. (He was thinking about getting a set custom-printed with “Helping You Help Yourself!” across the bottom, though he suspected his boss would find this too snarky.)

“Probably not. I mean, not to regular meetings or anything—you can totally ask me for help anytime! I’m just kind of… past the place where I need this kind of group? And I’ve got hockey practice and CS classes that are kind of the point of my being here, so they take priority, you know?”

“Sure thing.”

“But you know where to find me! Seriously, I’m always happy to help. It looks like a great group. But I know I can’t commit to anything.”

“Cool. I’ll see you around then, yeah? Oh, hey, if you have any time on Friday, you should come to the softball game. We’re gonna slay.”

Dex grinned and offered his fist for a bump of solidarity. “You’ll have to come to a hockey game once the season starts.”

“Definitely.”

***

Dex should have known the feeling of ease at the beginning of the semester was deceptive. It was college, after all; it wasn’t supposed to be easy. Sure enough, his classes had picked up and were now applying real pressure, and now that the team had to start traveling for games, it was only going to get worse. He wouldn’t be so worried about it except it was apparently his d-partner Nursey’s fervent goal to be as annoying as possible, specifically to Dex.

“Yo, man, you need to chill.”

Dex grit his teeth and did his level best not to snap that the only time he wasn’t chill was around Nursey. Or when thinking about him. Or when thinking about the next time he’d have to deal with him. Ugh.

“I have to go to work. Move.” Dex swung his bag onto his shoulder and pushed past Nursey.

“God, don’t you know how to have any fun?”

“Not all of us are getting everything handed to us by our parents. My time actually _means_ something to me,” Dex shot back as he slammed through the door. _Privileged dick._

The helpdesk was a welcome refuge. Nursey would certainly never follow him here. As far as Dex could tell, Nursey preferred to do as much work as possible in some hipster leather-bound journal with an honest-to-god fountain pen, like the pretentious poser he was. Dex let out an irritated huff, trying to push thoughts of Nursey away so he could clear his mind and get as much homework as he could done between calls.

He had actually managed to make fairly good progress on a problem set when Sam poked her head into the office.

“Your shift’s almost over, right?”

He glanced at the clock, a little surprised. “Yup. Did you need something?”

“Yeah, but it’s not really computer-related. Stop in across the hall on your way out?”

“Sure.”

Ten minutes later, he knocked on the doorframe of the SRC to get Sam’s attention. She looked up from where she was apparently deep in consultation with another student and smiled.

“Dex! Just the man we need. Do you, by chance, know anything about programmable lighting?”

“Uh, yeah, if you mean, like, stage lighting?”

“Yeah, exactly.”

“Then yeah, I did the lights for tech theater in high school. I can half-ass sound stuff, too.”

“Perfect! Mostly we just need lights, I think.”

“Do I get to ask why?”

“Glitter Ball!” Sam said with great relish. Dex felt slightly alarmed.

The other student Sam had been talking to took pity on him. “It’s the dance our group sponsors every year. Some of the other student groups and particular dorms have ones they always do, too. I’m Nick, by the way.”

“Nice to meet you,” was all Dex managed before Sam barreled enthusiastically on.

“This year, I am simply _not_ going to satisfied with a boring disco ball. _Anyone_ can use the disco ball in the student center. _We_ are going to rent programmable, color-changing LED party lights! Look!” She turned the laptop around so Dex could see the lights she’d found on the party rental company’s site.

“Oh, yeah, those are no problem. They’re pretty easy to use, honestly.”

“Great! How long in advance do you need us to get them for you?” Sam had switched to what looked like a spreadsheet of terrifying complexity and now had her hands hovering expectantly over the keyboard.

It appeared Dex had been officially drafted into volunteering for Glitter Ball.

***

A fact which just never seemed to come up when he was with the hockey team. It wasn’t that the team never talked about campus events; sometimes it seemed like Ransom and Holster talked about nothing _but_ the apparently endless college social calendar. But Dex was content to keep the various spheres of his life separate.

At least until the afternoon he was sitting at the kitchen table at the Haus doing homework and suddenly tuned into the conversation around him to hear, “So what are you planning to wear?”

“Oooh, good question,” Bitty replied. He closed the oven door behind the latest tray of cookies and turned to lean against the counter. “I may actually have to go shopping. Wanna go?”

“I think I have something that would work, but sure,” Nursey said with an easy shrug. “Think we should ask Lardo?”

“Yes, definitely!” Bitty said, whipping out his phone to commence high-speed texting.

“Wait, what are you talking about?” asked Dex.

“Outfit shopping, dude, you wouldn’t be interested,” Nursey said.

“Outfits for what?”

“Glitter Ball.”

Dex blinked. “…oh…”

“See?” Nursey said dismissively. “I told you you wouldn’t be interested. Ready, Bitty?”

“Yeah, let’s go!”

***

“Sam, am I supposed to dress special for this thing? I feel like you didn’t warn me about what to expect.”

“Well, I mean, are you going to participate in the drag contest?”

“Uh, no.”

“Then just wear whatever you want.”

Dex turned to Nick in desperation. They exchanged a _Sam is being obtuse again_ eye roll before Nick elucidated. “People usually take the ‘glitter’ part of the name to heart. Plus, you know, rainbows, gay pride, all that.”

 _Thank you_ , Dex mouthed at Nick as Sam steamrolled over them once again. “Okay, I think I’ve finalized the order of all the performers and events for you, Dex. Here’s what we’ll need lights for…”

***

Despite Sam’s best efforts to complicate things as much as possible, Dex really had found the lighting pretty easy to plot out. The lights in the student center, even including the disco ball and the rented LEDs, were pretty minimal compared to theater lights, and it wasn’t like he even had to go up in the rafters to adjust anything. (Not that the student center staff would have allowed that anyway. He’d asked.) So Dex was feeling pretty good about his night as he got dressed.

He pulled out a bunch of clothes he hadn’t worn since getting to Samwell. His old theater crew would approve. First, screamingly bright rainbow tie-dye patterned leggings, which would be hot but worth it. They served as a necessary underlayer for the strategically ripped jeans he pulled on next. He smiled at the flashes of color showing through on his thighs, knees, a few at the backs of his calves, and of course, just under the rear pockets. Vanessa had helped him position all the rips the weekend she made him drive them all down to Boston to sneak into clubs just after graduation, and she had been right. Of course. He knew better than to question a costume designer.

Then the black mesh sleeveless shirt. Vanessa had claimed it would counteract overheating from the leggings, which he knew from experience wasn’t actually effective, but whatever. Aaaand apparently he’d bulked up some since he started training at Samwell, because it was a great deal tighter across the chest than it had been back in early June. He shrugged. It was just for one night, after all. Nothing about this outfit was remotely related to his usual style, which had been rather the point when putting it together.

And now, the final piece: the glitter. He wasn’t really sure what had prompted him to even pack the glitter gel Kylie had given each of them that weekend, but it had ended up in his miscellaneous toiletries box and he’d kept it because it made him smile. He hadn’t really thought he’d have an excuse to use it again. He used his fingers to scoop a good-sized blob into his palm and then went to town tousling and spiking his hair as best he could, trying to maximize the amount of purple glitter catching and reflecting under his shitty overhead dorm light.

He stood back to evaluate the overall effect. Good enough. He suspected he’d still look tame compared to what Sam seemed to be anticipating, but he was just there to run the lights. He grabbed his leather jacket for the walk to the student center and headed out.

***

Things were going well. Very well. Weirdly well. He hadn’t had to use a single one of his backup plans, which was just…not normal for lights _or_ electronics at a large event. Sure, he’d been confident he could handle whatever came up, but he hadn’t prepared for _nothing_ to come up. He was scowling down at the board, trying to figure out what truly massive problem could possibly be lurking, the likelihood of it being catastrophic increasing with each passing moment, when he heard a shocked voice say his name.

A very familiar voice.

 _Oh_. That was why there hadn’t been a disaster yet. It wasn’t going to be technical after all. It was going to be personal.

Because of course the voice would be Nursey’s.

“Dude, is that really you? I didn’t think it was until I saw you scowling, but then I knew it must be you.”

Dex maintained his scowl and narrowed his eyes. Nursey looked comfortably on his way to drunk already, which undoubtedly meant pre-gaming at the Haus, since the student center at least tried to maintain the fiction they didn’t serve alcohol to underage students. Dex, unfortunately, was entirely sober.

“What do you want, Nursey?”

“I just can’t believe you’re here.”

“I’m running the lights.” Dex gestured at the board in front of him as if to indicate it should be obvious.

“But… it’s Glitter Ball.” Nursey blinked at him owlishly.

Now Dex gestured at himself, a sweeping motion taking in everything from his hair to the rips in the thighs of his jeans, which would just be visible to Nursey over the top of the table he was standing behind. “Yes. I know.”

“But… why? How?” Nursey’s brow was genuinely furrowed in confusion now.

Dex rolled his eyes. “Go away, Nurse. I’m working.”

“Nursey, there you are!” cried Bitty, appearing out of the crowd to take Nursey’s arm. Apparently he was on Nursey Patrol tonight. Bitty blinked when he saw who Nursey was talking to, then grinned. “Oh my. Looking good, Dex!”

Dex relaxed a bit and smiled back at Bitty. “Thanks. Can you take him away? He’s being annoying.”

“You boys.” Bitty shook his head sadly. “It looks like you’re working, but come find us if you get a chance! It’d be a shame for you to get all glammed up and not even get to dance.”

“Sure, I’ll try.”

Bitty waved over his shoulder as he towed Nursey back into the (extremely colorful) masses on the dance floor. Dex blinked as it suddenly registered through his irritation how good Nursey looked: weird, shiny black pants that looked like they’d been painted on and were definitely showcasing all the ways that hockey could do a body good, and a hot pink sleeveless crop top that showed off his tattoo and his abs, because _of course_. Dex would not dwell on that tattoo. He would not.

He blinked down at the board again. Who was he fooling? He would dwell on the tattoo. And those pants. He really hoped Bitty would keep Nursey away from him. He didn’t need this right now, he really didn’t.

***

“Bitty?” Nursey dragged them to a stop next to the table off to the side, where the SRC was selling Pride buttons.

“Yeah, honey?”

“How much have I had to drink?”

“Not that much, I didn’t think. Are you not feeling well? Do I need to take you back to your dorm?”

“No, no, just… that really was Dex, right? I’m not hallucinating?”

The guy behind the table ( _Nick_ , Nursey dredged out of him memory from somewhere, they must have a lecture together) looked up at Dex’s name. “The guy running the light board? Yeah, that’s Dex. You know him? He’s great!”

Bitty smiled. “He’s on the hockey team with us. How do you know him?”

“Oh, he helped with Glitter Ball organizing, and he does tech support for all the SRC meetings and stuff.”

Nursey looked off balance again. “He… does?”

“Yeah, totally. The helpdesk office is right across the hall. He said Sam could come get him whenever.”

“Oh, just tech help. I thought you meant he was actually a member of SRC!” Nursey laughed.

Nick frowned at him. “And why shouldn’t he be?”

“Well, like, he’s so straight. And conservative. You know.”

“I don’t think so. Are you sure we’re talking about the same person?”

“Stuck up red-haired guy over there,” Nursey said, pointing.

“Look, I think you should try actually talking to him. You’re clearly operating on a false set of assumptions. Want a button?”

“Uh, sure…”

***

Sam popped up beside him. “Hey, Dex! How’s it going?”

“Oh! Uh, great. Everything’s been fine, no problems.”

“Cool. You want me take over for a while so you can have fun too?”

“You don’t really know what to do…”

“Well, obviously if something goes wrong, I’ll just yell for someone to find you. But I can stand here and keep drunk people from touching any of the buttons just as well as you can.”

She had a point. “Okay. Thanks. I won’t be gone long.”

She shooed him. “Go, go.”

He scanned the dance floor but decided he didn’t feel like going out there yet. He made his way around the outside of the room and stopped at the button table when Nick waved at him. “Hey, man, you want a button?”

“Sure, how much are they? I think I brought a little cash with me.”

“Nah, don’t worry about it, you’re working tonight. On the house! We’re gonna have extras left over, anyway, I can tell.”

“Cool, thanks.” He picked up a plain rainbow-striped one, since it seemed to be the design with the most left on the table.

Nick snickered as he watched Dex pin it on. “I just thought of another one we should make: ‘Not as straight as I look.’”

Dex raised an eyebrow at him.

“Oh, your teammate Derek was over here with that blonde guy. He totally thinks you’re straight.”

“For fuck’s sake. Just ignore him. He’s extra annoying when he’s drunk. Which is saying something.”

“I told him he might want to check his assumptions, but yeah, he seemed kind of wasted. Who knows if he’ll remember tomorrow?”

“Exactly. Hey, I’ll catch you later, all right? Sam’s in charge of the board for a few minutes, so I’m gonna…” He jerked a thumb over his shoulder.

“Yeah, go have fun! I’ll get a turn in a little while.”

And with that, Dex finally turned and let himself be swallowed by the crowd.

***

Nursey had never seen Dex move with such abandon. The glitter in his hair was catching in the flashing lights (that Dex had apparently set up?); his tank top was doing a really amazing job of showing off his long, pale arms and a chest that had apparently been hiding under flannel and pads; and the colorful, strategic rips in his jeans were striking Nursey as extremely suggestive.

“Bruh.” Holster’s hand came down on Nursey’s shoulder, startling him out of his reverie. “Are you okay?”

“Are you seeing what I’m seeing?”

“I mean, probably. I did just get new glasses.”

“But, like, that’s Dex, right? Bitty said I wasn’t hallucinating.”

“Nope, not hallucinating! That’s definitely our Dexy.” Holster grabbed Nursey’s phone out of his back pocket and took a picture. “There, now you have proof for tomorrow, when you’re all hungover and trying to remember the night. C’mon, let’s dance.”

Nursey let himself be towed into the crowd, where Holster unerringly led them to Ransom, clearly by some sort of telepathy, because honestly, who could see in this crush? And then he wasn’t thinking, just dancing.

The glorious lack of thought lasted for all of ten minutes, until he tripped over his own feet, as usual. He laughed and looked to see who he’d stumbled into, but the laugh cut off in surprise when he saw rainbow tie-dye through ripped jeans. He looked up, first at Dex’s chest (wow, mesh really highlighted muscle definition in a different way, didn’t it?), which had now acquired a rainbow button, then at the freckled hands gripping his forearms to keep him from falling, tracing up past broad shoulders until he inevitably met Dex’s irritated gaze.

“Nursey. Of course.” He glanced around. “Where’s Bitty?”

“Haven’t seen him in a while. Was dancing with Ransom and Holster.” Who had apparently also disappeared.

Dex sighed. “You’re a menace. No more dancing for you.” He steered Nursey by the shoulders through the crowd back to his light board setup. “Thanks, Sam. I’ll take over again,” he said to the girl behind the table.

“Oh, hey, Derek. You okay?”

Nursey blinked at her, then smiled as he placed her. “Softball girl!”

Dex rolled his eyes. “He’s just drunk. I got him.”

“Okay. I’m gonna go give Nick a break. Thanks again for all your help!”

“No problem. I’ve been having fun, I swear.”

Sam departed with a salute.

Dex grabbed a chair from the line by the wall. “You, sit.” He pushed Nursey into it. “Don’t touch anything. We only have to be here for another 45 minutes.”

“Then what?”

“Then I’ll get you back to the dorm.”

“How are you still this uptight?”

Dex turned and leaned against the table, arms crossed. “What the fuck is with you? I am exactly the same person I’ve always been.”

“Nuh-uh. This,” Nursey waved his hand at Dex’s _everything_ , “is not the same William Poindexter who wears jeans and flannel and has a Samwell Republicans sticker on his fucking laptop.”

Dex raised a brow. “Is this really the time you want to have an in-depth and nuanced conversation about fishing regulation in the state of Maine?”

“What?”

“Exactly. Look, man, I honestly just slapped that sticker on there so people would stop picking up _my_ fucking laptop in the computer lab by mistake. It’s extremely effective. But if you want to talk politics, we can go.”

“Whatever. I know enough Republicans to know all I need to.”

Dex scoffed. “From Andover? Please. Let me assure you, it’s not remotely the same.”

“You’re telling me Republicans in Maine aren’t racist, homophobic, misogynistic jackasses?”

“In my experience, those qualities aren’t confined to a single political party. So yeah, they’re there, but my family tends to get a little single-issue in voting because our whole goddamn existence depends on the fishing industry. Which you know _nothing_ about, and I’m not going to try to explain it, because you are fucking drunk.”

“’m not that drunk,” Nursey muttered.

“Look, if you remember this conversation tomorrow and actually want to continue it, I’ll talk to you then. Can’t you just, I dunno, shut up and look at the pretty lights for now?”

Nursey did slump bonelessly back in the chair, but mostly what he watched was Dex, who had turned back to the board. The muscles of his shoulders slid under that stupid, distracting shirt as he did mysterious things with the buttons and dials in front of him. Occasionally he glanced at a piece of paper taped to the table next to him, and then the pattern of the lights would change. Nursey could feel himself being lulled into a hazy trance…

…and then it was apparently 45 minutes later, because Dex had spun down all the colored lights and the disco ball was slowing and hypnotic mass of bodies was now breaking up and streaming out the doors.

Sam had come back over and was now discussing with Dex what needed to be done to break down the lights. “Cool, that doesn’t seem too hard. And we can do it in the morning! Guess they learned that having drunk people try to clean up didn’t really get the desired results.”

“Sure, see you back here at 9.”

“Awesome. Thanks again!”

Dex turned and prodded Nursey’s foot with his own. “Up. Time to go.”

Nursey stood and stretched, reflexively giving Dex a flirtatious smile as his crop top rode up. Dex gave him a flat stare and reached under the table to pull out a leather jacket that Nursey was absolutely sure he’d never seen before.

“Come on, let’s go. Where’s your coat?”

“Didn’t bring one.”

“Nursey, it’s November in Massachusetts. What the hell?”

“Wasn’t cold.”

And then, just to prove to him (and Dex) what an idiot he was, they exited the student center into the glittering night and a huge gust of wind cut right through him. He was starting to feel a great deal more sober. He wrapped his arms around himself with a muttered, “Holy fuck.”

Dex sighed and shrugged off his jacket. “Here, put this on.”

Nursey looked at him, wide-eyed. “No, dude, it’s like ten minutes to the dorm, I’ll live. You don’t have sleeves either.”

“One, I’m from Maine, I can handle early November. Two, I have double layers on my legs and I’ve been too fucking hot all night. This feels good. Take the damn jacket.”

Nursey pulled it on and felt immediately better. Dex set a brisk pace in the direction of the freshman dorms. Nursey kept pace easily, enjoying the clear night air now that he wasn’t freezing, at least until he tripped over the crack in the sidewalk. It was so not his night. Dex caught him. Again. “Jesus, Nurse.”

“Sorry.”

Dex kept hold of Nursey’s arm for the rest of the walk, all the way to his door. He actually stayed long enough to make sure Nursey managed to flop facedown onto his bed without tripping over anything else on the way across the rug. Which was fair, Nursey thought as he toed off his shoes without lifting his face. “Umph,” he muttered into his pillow incoherently.

“G’night, Nurse,” Dex said as he pulled the door shut.

Nursey’s last thought before sleep claimed him was that he was feeling… a way… about his uptight d-partner.


	2. Winter Screw

Dex was back at the helpdesk on Monday when someone tapped on the open door. He looked over his shoulder, expecting Sam or Nick or someone else from the SRC, but instead it was Nursey, holding his leather jacket.

“Hey, I just wanted to return this…”

“You can come in. The computers don’t bite.”

Nursey huffed out an annoyed breath at the chirp. “Look, I’m just trying to say thank you. I know you don’t like having to deal my drunk ass. And I wasn’t that drunk, so I do remember you getting me back to the dorm.”

“Yeah, well, you’re welcome.”

Nursey handed over the jacket and pulled over a rolling chair, straddling it backwards, chin on his folded arms across the back. “So why haven’t I ever seen you wearing that before? Normally you just wear that canvas Carhartt.”

“The Carhartt is more practical, and I don’t worry about someone spilling cereal on it in the dining hall.”

Nursey’s shoulders tensed, and now that Dex was looking, he was pretty sure Nursey would be flushing if his skin really allowed it to show. Dex certainly saw the expression on his own face often enough to recognize it. “It was just the one time.”

Dex waved a hand. “I'm just chirping. More seriously, people ask me to fix shit often enough that I’d rather not have to worry about what I’m wearing. The leather is like… my one nice thing. And I want to keep it that way.”

Nursey nodded and idly turned the chair back and forth a little. Abruptly, he said, “Why do you hate me?”

Dex blinked at him. “Are we actually going to talk about this?”

“Yeah, I want to know.”

“Dude, I don’t hate you. I just don’t like you very much.”

“But why? What did I do?”

“Are you kidding? You do everything you can to piss me off every time we talk. Since the day we met. Exactly what is there to like? This, right here, is the realest conversation we’ve ever had.”

Nursey thunked his forehead against his arms. “Ugh.” He looked up again. “It was just… you’re always so wound, you know? And it was so easy to get a reaction from you.”

“And you thought I was an uptight Republican dickwad who deserved it, yes, I know.”

“Nick told me I made some unwarranted assumptions about you.”

Dex raised an eyebrow and said nothing.

“But, like, aside from me annoying you on purpose, it really seems like you specifically don’t like me. And I still want to know why. What do you think of me?”

Dex scrubbed his face with his hands. “Jesus, Nurse.”

“Is it just the being rich thing?”

“Argh. No. Honestly? It’s that all my past experience tells me that guys like you, guys who are attractive and they know it, are usually completely self-absorbed assholes used to getting whatever they want who should be avoided at all costs. Except I’m your d-partner, so I can’t.”

Nursey blinked at him.

“And your whole ‘chill’ routine bugs the fuck out of me. I’m not here because college was just the next stop on my aimless wander through life; I’m here because I don’t want to work a lobster boat until the industry finally fails completely. If you’re seriously so chill you don’t care about anything, why are you even here? But I don’t think that’s really true, I think you care about shit and just cover it up with the fake hipster bullshit, and I don’t have time to deal with that.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh. I’m not as dumb as you think. So just, like, do me a favor and be real with me or leave me alone, okay? You’re exhausting basically everywhere except on the ice.”

“That was… more direct than I was expecting.”

“Yeah, well, you asked.” The phone rang. Dex waved his hand at Nursey. “Shoo. I have to work now.”

“See you at practice.”

Dex, already taking the person on the phone’s ticket information, shot him a distracted thumbs up.

***

“Shitty?”

“’Sup, Nursey?”

“Can I, like, talk you alone?”

Shitty sat up from his mostly naked sprawl across his bed and set his textbook aside. “Sure, close the door.”

Nursey took the desk chair. “Do you think I’m fake?”

“Want to give me a little more insight into where that question is coming from?”

“I just had a conversation with Dex.”

“Funny, you don’t look bruised.”

“No, like, an actual conversation. And I asked why he hated me. And he said I always come off as fake. And I can’t tell if he just means with him or in general. But I thought since you’ve known me since before, you’d know.”

“Brah.” Shitty paused and stared into space for a minute. “So I guess I can see where he’s coming from. _I_ know why you do the excessive chill thing, but there’s no way he has a clue what boarding school is like. I think it’s just going to take you a while to relax enough to be yourself here. I mean, I know it did for me.”

Nursey frowned. “I didn’t think I was not being myself. Samwell is way better than Andover was.”

“Well, maybe that just means you’ve started letting go on the inside. It’ll work it’s way to the outside eventually. Maybe now that you’re actually thinking about it, it’ll happen faster. It’s okay to care about shit here, I promise. The guys on the team have your back.”

“Thanks.”

“Any time, man.”

Nursey left, looking distracted but thoughtful.

***

They were on the bus, returning from a roadie. For once, they weren’t fighting, because the game had gone well and neither of the other team’s goals were their fault. Dex seemed like he was actually almost in a good mood. Nursey allowed himself to relax into the quiet surrounding them, everyone either asleep or working on homework, like Dex. Like Nursey should be, but apparently his brain was still turning over his latest assignment and he couldn’t actually write anything yet. Which was annoying, but he’d learned it was no use forcing it.

He tried to let his mind wander, since that sometimes helped. He was suddenly aware he could hear the music from Dex’s earbuds faintly. When the chorus cut in, he couldn’t help softly singing along, “I am a rock, I am an island…”

Dex pulled out one of the earbuds. “Are you singing?”

“Oh, dude, sorry, it was, like, a reflex.”

“You. Listen to Simon & Garfunkel.”

“Uh, doesn’t everyone? That’s like not knowing the Beatles.”

Dex grunted. “Overrated.”

“Right, though?” Nursey thought back to his conversation with Shitty, and Dex’s request (he was charitably trying to view it that way, anyway) that Nursey be more real with him, so he continued softly, “But that song in particular? I used to sing it to myself a lot.”

Dex put his pencil down and turned so he could actually see Nursey. “Really? Why?”

“I've built walls, / A fortress deep and mighty, / That none may penetrate. / I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain. / It's laughter and it's loving I disdain,” Nursey recited. He stared at the back of the seat in front of him. “Boarding school was… easier if I didn't care.”

“I have my books / And my poetry to protect me; / I am shielded in my armor, / Hiding in my room, safe within my womb. / I touch no one and no one touches me,” Dex murmured, and Nursey inhaled sharply. He specifically hadn’t gone for that verse. Now he felt naked. He shouldn’t have listened to Shitty.

But all Dex followed it up with was, “Guess public school and private school aren’t that different after all.” He bumped Nursey’s shoulder gently as he picked up his pencil again and returned to his problem set.

Nursey let out a shaky breath. Dex held out the earbud he had removed without looking up. Nursey took it. He settled back in his seat, closed his eyes, and listened to Simon & Garfunkel all the way back to Samwell. It felt very real.

***

Dex felt like he’d been making a lot of progress lately on not finding Nursey completely infuriating—they’d gotten through Thanksgiving at the Haus remarkably well—but this afternoon appeared to be making him take a few steps backward. His fingers tightened around his pencil. His temper ended up snapping before the pencil did.

“Do you have to flirt with _everyone_ who comes within five feet of our table?”

“Chill, yo. How else am I gonna find a Winter Screw date?”

Dex glared. “I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to let someone else set you up.”

“You offering, Poindexter?”

“Definitely not.”

“I could set you up, if you want.”

“No, thank you. I’m still recovering from your last suggestion.”

“I just figured you’d appreciate a girl with the self-sufficiency to make her own clothes.”

“So close, and yet so far. Aren’t you supposed to be doing homework?”

“Yeah, but I have to observe people for it. I’m totally working on it right now.”

“Okay, here’s a test. Who would you set me up with for Winter Screw, if I let you?”

Nursey pursed his lips and stared over Dex’s head for a few minutes. “Maybe Katie from my sociology class? She’s pretty chill. Down to earth, you know?”

Dex snorted. “Your observational skills need serious work.” Why did he even bother? He returned his attention to his linear algebra. He couldn’t wait for this class to be over. At least he was moving on to combinatorics next semester.

Nursey nudged his foot under the table. “Who would you set me up with?”

“Brent from the soccer team,” Dex answered absently.

“…what?”

Dex looked up again at Nursey’s weird tone. “Brent from the soccer team. Or Corinna, I guess, but Brent’s in my compsci class this semester, so I know he thinks you’re hot and apparently doesn’t think you’re a complete hipster dumbass, judging from the number of times he’s felt the need to tell me you’re looking good that day. I’m gonna ban you from walking past the science building with me if he keeps it up. It’s annoying.”

Nursey blinked at him a few times. “Oh. Uh, yeah, he’s hot.”

“Do you actually want me to ask him? Because I don’t really want to be involved in this, but it might actually get him to shut up.”

“Sure…”

“Do your work.”

***

Dex threw himself into a chair in the SRC and groaned. “Sam, what did I do?”

“I dunno, what did you do?”

“I told Nursey I’d get Brent to be his Winter Screw date.”

“Oh-kay… why?”

“Because we were having a hypothetical conversation about who he’d choose for me and he picked some girl in one of his classes, _again_ , and I got annoyed and felt like I should show him I could make a much better pick for him, based on, I don’t now, his _actual preferences_ , and now I’ve somehow backed myself into this corner when I never wanted to be involved in the whole screw date thing in the first place.”

“Sounds like it’s too late. But you’re in luck! Brent’s supposed to be here this afternoon. You can ask him and get it over with right away!”

“You’re so helpful,” Dex said flatly.

“I know! I’m the best.”

Dex glowered.

“I’ll send him over when he gets here. Take you all of ten seconds and then it’ll be done.”

“You’re a terrible friend.”

“I’m just supporting you in your endeavors.”

***

Nursey got the text from Dex saying his screw date was all set and this somehow led to the obvious decision to go sit in a pile of leaves on the Beach with a flask in the middle of the night. Which in turn led to him waking up this morning feeling like he’d swallowed knives. _Oh God_.

Dex banged on his door. “Nurse, why aren’t you up yet?”

“Hrrrrggggnnnn,” Nursey responded. He dragged himself out of bed and over to the door. “You—” he stopped to cough and clear his throat, “You should go without me. I’m going back to bed. It’s Sunday.”

“But… waffles.”

“I know. Just feel like I need to catch up on some sleep. Stayed up too late last night.”

Dex looked at him suspiciously. “Are you hungover?”

“Not… really? I think I’m just tired.”

“Give me your water bottle.”

“Huh?”

Dex snapped his fingers. “C’mon, give me your water bottle. I’ll be right back.”

Nursey located his water bottle conveniently near the door on top of his dresser, so he handed it over. It felt like too much work to move, so he just leaned against the doorframe and watched Dex walk down the hall and fill it from the bottle filler next to the water fountain.

“Here. Go back to bed. Hydrate. Take some Advil. You look like shit.”

“Uh, thanks. I think.”

***

Bitty looked up from the waffle maker. “Just you? Where’s Nursey?”

“I think he’s coming down with something.”

“Oh no! Do you think it’s the flu?”

“I dunno. He sounded like his throat was sore and he said he was really tired. I swear to god, if he misses our next game because he had to go to some party or stay up all night being poetic, I’m going to kill him myself.”

“Do you want me to go check on him?”

“Maybe tomorrow. Hopefully he’s asleep again. I left him with a bunch of water before I came over.”

***

**==Ribbit, Ribbit==**

**Dex:** Okay, he’s not better.

 **Chowder:** OMG, please don’t tell Jack! He’ll be so mad!

 **Bitty:** Chowder, it’ll be fine. Jack understands that people get sick.

 **Chowder:** Jack never gets sick!

 **Nursey:** Chill, guys.

 **Dex:** You shut up. I can hear you coughing on the other side of the door.

 **Bitty:** On my way.

***

Dex intercepted Bitty at Nursey’s door, where he was standing in the hall with Chowder.

“I brought soup. And cookies. And tea.”

“I’ll take it. I’m his liney; if he gets anyone else sick, it might as well be me.”

“I can help!”

“No, Chowder, you’re our goalie. We can’t afford for you to be sick.”

“But I want to help!”

Bitty took his arm and patted it soothingly. “We know, sweetie. But I think the best thing you can do to help right now is to go to practice.”

“I’ll catch up once I give Nurse all this stuff.”

Bitty waved over his shoulder.

Dex turned and kicked Nursey’s door. “Open up.”

Nursey cracked the door and retreated, coughing. Dex pushed it open the rest of the way with his foot so he could enter with his armload of stuff, then closed it with his elbow. “Well, you look awful.”

“Yeah, you said,” Nursey rasped.

“No, I mean, worse than yesterday. What the hell did you do to yourself?”

“Umph,” was Nursey’s only response as he flopped back on the bed.

“No, get up. Go brush your teeth, put on clean pajamas, drink some tea, and then go back to sleep. I’m staying until you get situated again.”

“You’re going to be late.”

“Well, it’s not like my d-partner is going to be there to run drills with, so I think I can spare a few minutes. I’ll text Coach Hall while you’re in the bathroom.” He locked forearms with Nursey and hauled him out of bed. “Go.”

Nursey shuffled out of the room like a zombie and Dex busied himself making some of the tea Bitty had brought. Herbal, which Dex guessed was better than anything with caffeine in it for these purposes. Had Bitty known Nursey had an electric tea kettle in his room? Probably. They’d all learned not to question his powers at this point.

Nursey came back in and started back for the bed. “Nope, uh-uh, clean clothes first. Believe me, you’ll feel better. I swear, you’re like taking care of one of my nieces and nephews. And they’re all under the age of ten.”

It was perhaps the surest sign that Nursey was actually sick that he didn’t have a comeback for that. He obediently rummaged through his dresser and pulled out different sweatpants and a clean t-shirt. Dex turned back to the tea while Nursey changed, as if the steeping tea somehow needed his supervision. When he heard Nursey hit the bed again, he fished the teabag out and turned to set the mug on the corner of Nursey’s desk.

“That might need to cool off a little. There’s soup here, too, and cookies, so you can eat when you wake up again. Need anything else?”

“Don’t think so…”

“Gimme your phone.”

“Wha’?”

“Your phone. Give it.” Nursey found it on the windowsill and unlocked it before handing it over. Dex set an alarm for noon. “There, now it’ll wake you up to eat lunch.”

Nursey stared at him as he took his phone back. “Who are you?”

“Shut up. Drink your tea, sleep, and I’ll be back to check on you after my classes are done.”

“’k…”

Dex left for practice, feeling like he’d done all he could for the moment. Stupid Nursey. How dare he get sick?

***

Nursey stared at his phone after the door closed behind Dex. That had been weird, right? Dex had been weirdly caring? And, like, concerned. About him. The last person who had brought him soup or made him tea while he was sick was probably their housekeeper. And not even she would have bullied him into clean clothes. How did Dex always seem to know what needed to be done? He always seemed to have a plan for things. Nursey had just been planning to lie in bed until he felt better or died.

He thumbed off the lock screen and looked at his camera roll. The picture Holster had taken of Dex at Glitter Ball really was there. Still. And Dex had set him up with a guy for Winter Screw.

Nursey sat in his bed, drinking tea and staring at the picture, trying to figure out what it all meant. His eyes started to slide shut again. He’d think about it later. He put the mug back on the desk before he could break it, rolled over, and slept.

***

He woke again (Again again? For the second time again? Since he had actually woken up with the alarm and eaten his lunch? God, he really was sick. He was supposed to be an English major.) when he felt a hand on his forehead. He blinked a few times and eventually his vision focused on Dex.

“Hey,” he whispered.

“Checking for a fever. Didn’t think to bring a thermometer, but you don’t seem too hot. Have you been sweating? Shivering?”

Nursey pushed himself up against the pillows and tried to evaluate his blurred memories of the day. “I don’t think so?” He cleared his throat experimentally. “I think I’m feeling better.”

“Good. You’ve slept most of two days, so if you still felt completely shitty, I was going to make you go to campus health. Here, two Advil.” Dex dropped the pills in his hand and then held out his water bottle, once again full.

Nursey obediently downed the pills. “Thanks.”

“And Bitty sent more soup, plus biscuits. Apparently he’s feeling extra Southern today.”

“Pie?”

“Of course.” Dex swatted at him. “Move your legs so I have somewhere to put it all.”

Nursey sat up straighter and crossed his legs up under the covers. Dex settled at the foot of the bed and started arranging containers.

“Don’t you have work tonight?”

“Switched a shift with Kevin.” Dex handed him a container of soup and a spoon. “Eat.”

“You don’t have to stay with me, you know.”

Dex gave him a weird look. “Dude, you’ve been sitting in here by yourself all day. I figured you’d at least want company for dinner.”

Nursey blinked again. “Uh, yeah.”

“You act like no one’s ever taken care of you when you’re sick.”

“I was just thinking about that earlier today, actually.” Nursey drank some water. _Be real_. “I’m pretty sure our housekeeper is the only person I can remember bringing me food when I was sick? And that was only if I was home.”

Dex lowered his soup to his lap and stared at him. “Seriously? That sucks, dude.”

Nursey shrugged and concentrated on his soup. “My parents were super busy. They were basically never home.”

“I can’t even imagine that. I mean, my parents worked a lot, but if one of us was sick and neither of them could be there, they’d call one of my grandparents. Or one of the neighbors. And once we all started aging up to babysitting age, we’d get drafted.”

“Exactly how many Poindexters live in your town?”

“Uh, I don’t know, I never counted. It’s just where we live. I mean, it’s not like we’re the whole town, or we never move away. We just have people around. Here.” He held out a biscuit.

Nursey took it. “You gotta understand, that really was not my normal. I know I have relatives? Like, I’ve met them at family events and a few holidays, but they live all around the world. I’m not actually sure if there are two nuclear family units from my extended family in the same city, anywhere.”

“Huh.”

That was enough honest sharing for the day. “This biscuit is really good.”

Dex appeared to be done sharing as well. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure he made the soup, too. He was all excited about finding star-shaped pasta. That can’t have been at the Stop-n-Shop. Lardo must have taken him shopping.”

Nursey inspected his soup more closely. Sure enough, stellini. “Nice. So what did you end up doing in practice?”

They managed to pass the next hour talking about completely innocuous topics that didn’t make Dex angry or cause Nursey to cough.

***

“So what should I wear to Screw?” Nursey asked Dex a few days later, staring into space in the library.

Dex looked at him like he’d lost his mind. “Clothes? Believe me when I say you could show up in literally anything and I will still have to listen to Brent talk about how hot you looked for 20 minutes on Monday. Do me a favor and wear a color that actually looks bad on you.”

Nursey’s gaze sharpened and he felt a lazy grin stretch across his face. “Yeah? And what color would that be, Poindexter?”

Dex flushed immediately. (Granted, that wasn’t a difficult reaction to cause.) “Mustard yellow? Go ask Lardo,” he snapped. “Don’t you ever have to study?”

“Reading week’s not until next week, brah. I know how to pace myself.”

“Procrastinate, you mean.”

Chowder threw him into the chair next to Nursey and dropped his backpack on the floor. “Hi, guys! What are you talking about?”

“Homework,” Dex answered.

“Winter Screw,” countered Nursey.

“Ooooh! What do you think I should wear? Cait said she’s going to wear black! Do you think it’s okay to wear my teal tie?”

“Do you actually have another color tie?” Nursey asked curiously.

“No?”

He patted Chowder reassuringly on the shoulder. “You’re good, bro. Black matches everything. You two will be bangin’.”

“’Swawesome, Nursey. Thanks!”

Across the table, Dex rolled his eyes.

Chowder turned to him. “Who are you going with, Dex?”

Dex didn’t even look up from his laptop. “I got Sam to fix me up with someone before Ransom could break out the spreadsheet. I’m meeting them there.”

“That sounds fun!”

“Did you get an answer to problem 5?” Dex asked, neatly killing further conversation on that topic.

Chowder got out his own laptop. “Yeah, sure. Do you need help?”

Nursey reluctantly went back to his own work and tried valiantly not to obsess over who Dex might be going to Screw with.

***

Dex met Sam outside the student center so he could escort his date into Screw. She was standing by the door with her girlfriend and another girl with microbraids wearing a green dress.

“Dex, Aisha. Aisha, Dex.”

They shook hands. “Nice to meet you,” Dex said.

“Likewise.”

“Well,” Sam said, dusting off her hands, “now that that’s settled, we’re off. Have fun, kids!” She grabbed her girlfriend’s hand and pulled her into the building.

Dex and Aisha watched them go. Aisha looked up at him. “Hey, thanks for doing this.”

“Are you kidding? Thank _you_. You don’t know the horrible suggestions my teammates were coming up with.”

“Thank god for Sam’s ace dates list, huh?”

“Seriously.” He held the door for her and gestured forward with a flourish. “Shall we go judge the oversexed hordes?”

“Yes, let’s.” She took his arm and smiled.

Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.

***

It wasn’t bad. Aisha was wry and funny and a good dancer and not remotely interested in him in anything resembling a romantic fashion, and they were having fun, goddammit. Or at least Dex had been having fun until Nursey walked in with Brent. Wearing a mustard yellow shirt that somehow _still_ looked good on him, which Dex would have sworn was impossible.

He felt vaguely like he wanted to scream. Nursey caught his eye from across the room and gave him an absolutely shit-eating grin. Dex flipped him off.

Aisha gave him an inquiring look. “Hockey linemate. Stupid in-joke. I might have to kill him on Monday. It’s fine.”

She shook her head and muttered something that might have been, “Boys.”

Dex ignored Nursey for the rest of the night. (Except he kept catching him out of the corner of his eye. He looked like he was having a good time. Brent certainly looked thrilled. Good for them.) At one point, he saw Ransom and Holster spot him and Aisha and then confer with one another, so he was pretty sure the spreadsheet was going to get an update on his supposed preferences. He wasn’t really sure how they both managed to observe so much and have so little of it be accurate. Not that he was going to correct them. His dating life was nobody’s business anyway.

He and Aisha made it through all of Screw without being overly harassed by any of their friends and parted with an extremely bro-y one-armed hug thing, and then Dex found himself in the south quad with the rest of the team, sitting under the statue and passing Shitty’s flask. Or at least the rest of the team that was still around. Which notably did not include Nursey. Or Chowder, but that was less of a surprise. And Holster was walking Esther home, like a gentleman. (Why did Ransom give Holster such crap about her? Had he never actually talked to her? She was nice. And _normal_ , which was sadly lacking with SMH for the most part. He should hang out with Esther more often. He had maybe had more sips from that flask than he thought.)

Eventually he helped haul Shitty and Bitty to their feet and saw them off in the direction of the Haus before heading back to his own dorm and collapsing face-first onto his bed.

Where had Nursey even gotten a mustard-colored shirt anyway? And why did Dex _care_? He muffled his groan in his pillow and resolutely told himself to go to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my original plan was to get this chapter all the way to the end of their first semester, but when I got to the end of Winter Screw and had Dex basically mirroring Nursey's actions at the end of Glitter Ball, I couldn't resist ending there.
> 
> Obviously there's a lot more to go here, but tbh I have literally zero idea of when I'll be able to get to it. I just had this second part about 80% done already, so I figured I could at least finish that much. Flipping back and forth between all the tweets and comics to ensure canon compliance takes a lot longer than writing an AU, as it turns out.
> 
> In other news, if you're wondering who Holster's Screw date is, that's Esther Shapiro as she appeared in omgericzimmermann's "[Little Sour Hearts](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9771152)," which you should read immediately if you haven't yet.


End file.
